I am the mother of a Brony

Why I support my son and his love for My Little Pony.

I have gotten my head around that…..sort of. Today I discovered that I am the mother of a famous Brony. On Tumblr anyway.

Now I know that friends you make on the internet aren’t really “real” (sorry Aaron, I know you disagree) but today I watched my son meet this online friends in real life. It was emotional. This boy has spent hours and hours writing his blog, finding art he likes and posting it to Tumblr.

His blog has a large number of followers, which I knew. I also knew that he was active in the advice giving role which tells me that these boys have talked about the painful parts of their lives in detail.

Watching them finally meet in person, well. The hugs and grins say it all. These are real and very deep friendships. I have to take it all back….about online friendships not being “real”. I guess I think they aren’t “real” because you can’t really get on each other nerves like real friendships can. Or maybe you can…who knows. Maybe I need an internet friend before I form an opinion.

So back to bronies. For those of you who are still in the stone age – a brony is an adult male who is a fan of the the TV cartoon “My Little Pony – Friendship is Magic”. I know what you are thinking. How many men are in this little club – two? Wrong again. 10,000 of them were at the convention and those were only the ones that could afford to go. There were thousands more who watched the convention online and even thousands more who are fans but don’t attend conventions.

As much as I support freedom of expression and reject gender stereotypes, I have to admit, this brony thing made me look twice. Boys who like My Little Pony. You know, the little girls show, with pastel ponies. He was obsessed with it even to the point of setting his alarm for 5 am so he could watch the show on the internet. He wouldn’t get up that early for a fire so I knew we were onto something big.

I have watched the show and I admit, I don’t get it. It is a kid’s show. I don’t find it all that interesting frankly but watching it with 8 men was different. Don’t ask me to define that just trust me on that one.

The whole thing is “different” but I have to admit, I am ok with it. First of all, my son is different and God made him that way so who am I or anyone else to challenge that. Secondly he has the right to like whatever he likes so long as it isn’t harmful to him or anyone else and the theme – Love and Acceptance – is one that I endorse so…. Thirdly I like his friends – all of them.

Let’s stop there and talk about this. I have spent time with boys/men, as a teacher, as a parent and as a fan of young people. I have attended parties, school outings, one on one conversations, late night the-police-are-here conversations where I did most of the talking. I have seen boy/men-to-be on the internet when they forgot that they had friended their former teacher. I have heard girls talk about what the boys/men are like and the things they want to do when they are 19 or 20. I have partied with boys/men in the age bracket from 25 to early 30’s and I watch it all.

The thing I notice first is the lack of respect for women. The amazing lack of respect. From the comments they make to the picture they post they show their lack of maturity across the board. Now before I get letters, not ALL the boys/men I know are like that but a disproportionate number of them are. I like these kids but I fear for their futures when I see the things they find funny and the priorities they pursue. I believe that deep inside they want what we all want but they are never going to find it without some serious soul searching corrections in their thinking.

What do we all want. We want to accepted for WHO we really are and not who we have to pretend to be. We want to accepted AS we are, faults and all and not have to hide our insecurities behind false machoism. We want to be loved. It really is that simple.

So ladies, who is more likely to love you, really lay their heart on the line for you, support you and help you to be your best? The guy who thinks posting pictures of naked women on the internet is amusing? The guy who is so insecure in his own value that he has to use you and discard you because of his fear that you will discard him first? The guy who works so hard at looking cool but hasn’t got the balls or the character to really be cool where it counts? Don’t fall for shallow, ladies. Wait for the real thing. It is out there. There are men who have it all. Don’t be fooled by Mr. Cool cause he really is just a cheap overpriced ice cream sold from a truck by a sleazy guy in a dirty apron. Wait for the real deal. Wait.

Gentlemen, who is more likely to love and accept you – the women who hasn’t been used and abused by the boys in her life or the one who has learned to distrust men? And where did she learn that? At the hands of you and your band of merry brothers. Karma kicks ass gentlemen. Whatever game you are playing on her, just remember, someone is playing that same game with your future wife and guess who will have to pay the piper then.

Anyway enough of that sermon, back to bronies.
The idea of spending 5 days with 8 boy/men, ages 19 to 28 in a dirty abandoned warehouse was concerning. (We were part of an experiment on homelessness – more on that later but we were living in an abandoned warehouse.

Could I really stand the swearing, farting and immaturity that goes along with hanging out with semi-men? I wasn’t worried about the concrete floor – I can handle that. I was concerned that I would embarrass Aaron by demanding that these boys clean it up, pick it up, grow up and get it together. I would become the “black mama” that Aaron is always going on about.

Now the fact that my son was willing to have me come along on this trip and hang out with him and his friends was a testament to our relationship in the first place. But that aside, I was trying to stay as much in the background as possible and let him hang with his peeps. I bought a pup tent (thank God) and spent a lot of time alone inside while the boys hung out on the outside. Of course pup tents aren’t sound proof so I was privy to a lot of the conversations going on around me. I discovered that bronies have a number of things in common.

They are nice guys. I know – the kiss of death – God forbid – a nice guy. Ladies – would you rather have a nice guy or a jerk? Remember Karma’s a bitch…be careful what you ask for.

There was some swearing but the heart of these guys is all the same. They are caring, supportive friends. They are respectful and kind, both to each other and to everyone else. There was no false machoism, no challenging one another in the prove-you-are-an-idiot game, no farting contests, no slanging of women, no my-balls-are-bigger-than-your-balls immaturity. None.

Every single one of them were just decent, mature, quiet, deep-thinkers. They were mostly artists and had an artist’s way of looking at life. They had strong character and walked down the street with pink ponies attached to their backpacks. Buddy – that takes balls. Balls that you don’t have, I’ll bet.

They were stared at and in some cases yelled at but they remained true to themselves and their right to be who they were and like what they liked and they came in all colors and sizes and shapes.

They are open to conversation with everyone from old ladies to taxi drivers. They did better on a one-on-one situation and were somewhat socially awkward but once they got to know you, you couldn’t shut them up. And they were interesting. Seriously. These guys are no dummies. Most of them have above average intelligence and you can tell as soon as they open their mouths.
Well…sometimes… Sometimes they spoke their own language and I didn’t get most of the pony references but they enjoyed their secret symbols and codes and why shouldn’t they. Doesn’t everyone love a good inside joke?

So I went to BronyCon. (Baltimore, Maryland 2015)

Once you get past the costumes and believe me there are some costumes at this thing, the first thing you notice is the love. I know, sappy but still. They are hugging each other, high fiving each other, smiling, laughing, yelling greetings across the hallway. This is a group that takes “Friendship is Magic” to the next level.

I especially loved the Marine Bronies. Tough looking, muscle bound men chanting “fun, fun, fun” as they marched down the hall. Made me laugh out loud. Good for them.

Ok – so you want to know if they are gay because you are just that evolved, right?

Some of them are, most of them are not. Happy now? Whisper: Just like in your real life….some of you are but most of you are not. Feeling insecure?

The beauty of Bronies is that they truly accept everyone and everyone is included. I think that is the draw. These are men who reject stereotypes and conformity. They believe that they have the right to be who they are without explanation or condemnation. They refused to compromise their integrity or maturity in order to be popular and as a result, most of them probably weren’t. But in this group, they are the stars and doesn’t everybody deserve to be a star once and awhile.

I watched an obese man walk into the convention. Tipping 350 lbs, he was someone most people would shun. He was alone. His clothes weren’t totally clean. You could tell by looking at him that he didn’t have many friends. He was someone most people wouldn’t be cruel to but they wouldn’t go out of their way to be kind either. I watched him walk up to a group of guys standing in a circle. He stood on the outside of the circle, facing everyone’s back. In the middle of the circle was a cosplayer showing off a really cool costume and everyone was admiring it and taking pictures with it. This man, whose name I learned later was Norman, said “cool costume” and those close by him turned around to see who had spoken. I watched the circle separate and envelop him. (which at his size, was not easy to do). Within minutes he had worked his way to the front and was getting his picture taken with the cos player. All around him were smiles and handshakes.

Someone asked him his name. Someone else yelled out “Big Norman, look this way, I want your picture.” He was called Big Norman from then on.

Throughout the three days I often saw him, always surrounded by laughing friends. He was accepted and instantly became part of a peer group. They laughed at his jokes and loved having their pictures taken with him. I knew just by watching him that this was a life changing moment for him.

I am sure there are countless others who found this strong independent support network to be a God send and life saver. There is a lot to be said for the life changing power of “Love and Acceptance”.

Now before you start thinking that all bronies are gay, pedophiles or have development issues or that they are all fat kids that live in their mom’s basement, let’s look at the facts.

Most of them are grown men, the average age is 21. 80 percent of them are hetro but less than 3 percent are married. Could be a factor of their age. 70 percent are part or full time students. Their common traits are camaraderie and creativity. They are made up of amazing artists, musicians and art lovers (like Aaron). They are also gamers and of above average intelligence. I also noticed that most of them were socially awkward but not all of them.

I get it. I understand the pony thing. I like the values it instills and the type of men that are drawn to it but then I always was a sucker for intelligent, creative, classy men. They are “20% cooler”. (In joke)

Personally if I was young and in need of a date, I would chase down one of those Marines. (Gotta love a man in uniform). I would choose the one with the big pink pony on his t-shirt because ladies, life with him would be fun, fun, fun. AND guys, there are some very hot, intelligent, girls that hang out at these event. Smart ladies.

So how do we like our men? Tough? Yes. Tough enough to take care of me, defend me, protect me. Am I likely to get that from the ‘macho’ man who disrespects and uses women. No, they are more likely to run away, protect their own insecure ass, or worse they are the most likely to become the person we need the most protection from.

Personally I like creative men because when the going gets tough, they get creative and creativity fuels the world – ask Steve Jobs. I like intelligent men because you can have real conversations with them. They are not boring. Macho men like to talk about football, types of beer, their latest tattoo’s, porn and ….yawn, sorry must have fallen asleep for just a moment there.
I like men who are in touch with their feelings. They won’t delibrately hurt me or the things I love and they are supportive of me when I need a hug. Macho men like to tease and pose but when it comes to real feelings they are afraid to face their own fears, they would rather play Grand Theft Auto and pretend to have power then develop the skills necessary for real power.

I like men with class because it enables me to be a classy woman. Something I need to work on because deep inside I really am a strong independent black woman (another inside joke) with a not-so-classy mouth sometimes.

I love nerds because I would rather be dating the boss then the worker. Just sayin’.

I like men who don’t conform because conformity is for herd animals. I don’t conform either. It isn’t that conformity is bad – it has its place and its time but things never change if everyone just does what the animal in front of them does. Someone has to shake things up and improve on the situation.

Although my life won’t have the impact these people had, as a non-conformist I stand in the presence of some pretty impressive company. I stand in awe of Martin, both Luther and King, I stand in awe of Madame Currie, Chief Crazy Horse, Harriet Tubman, Madam Vanier, Eleanor Roosevelt, Madam Chang-Ki-chek, Amelia Earhart.

And I stand in awe of bronies. Proudly.

For more about bronies – here is a link to the university study done last year
http://herdcensus.com/2013%20STATE%20OF%20THE%20HERD%20REPORT.pdf

Other good art work:
http://derpicdn.net/media/W1siZiIsIjRmMDIwOGYyOTQ1YjcwNzgxYzAwMDAwMSJdXQ/3__safe_pinkie%2Bpie_princess%2Bluna_hat_moon_source%2Bneeded_s1%2Bluna_upvotes%2Bgalore_scenery_painting_paintbrush_river_landscape_artist-colon-moe_celestial%2Bmechanics_featured%2Bimage_painting.PNG

For really talented music try this link:

CHECK THIS OUT IF YOU DARE… This guy has chops – seriously


And all of them – proud bronies.